PDA

When a child is dysregulated, they aren’t being difficult — they’re being flooded.

For years, I thought Eli’s resistance meant he wouldn’t. I didn’t yet understand it meant he couldn’t — not until his nervous system felt safe enough to access the skills he already had. Regulation wasn’t a strategy. It was the prerequisite.

Pathological Demand Avoidance isn’t refusal. It isn’t defiance. It’s anxiety — the kind that hijacks a nervous system before logic ever gets a seat at the table.